In light of our 6 month anniversary of marriage, I took time out to reflect and look back on those past few months.
It’s been a crazy 6 months but also the best moments of my life.
A lot of adjustments has occurred, a lot of memorable memories already made but also some trialing times.
Marriage is indeed very beautiful and it has taught me so many things already.
- Patience – My husband and I are similar in some ways but also different in other ways too. One of those would be him being more laid back and me being the type to be on the go and wanting things done ASAP. I already knew this of us before we got married but it’s on a different level when you’re with each other 24/7 in the same house. I love my husband for who is and thank God that he gave me someone that is the laid back type because it helps me to relax at times and wind down, otherwise I would be constantly on the go with no down time. However, it also has tested my patience in that area. We both have different personalities but it doesn’t make us incompatible. It has both taught us to understand each other more, work together more, and for me, to be more patient (and helped me realize that sometimes things don’t have to be necessarily done then and there). I’m not the most patient person in the world so this is definitely a learning curve for me.
- Respect for one another – My husband, being the head of the family, I have a lot of respect for him. Not only because he is the head of the family but because of who is as a person. Respect flowed in our relationship even before marriage but ever since getting married this has only increased. Seeing how hard he works for me and our future family, all the ideas he comes up with, the future he wants for us and wanting only the best for our family. The same way, I see how much he respects me as a person. He sees me for who I am and what I contribute to the family. He asks me for my ideas and when it comes to decision making, he always asks for my input before any final decisions.
- Communication is key – Like I mentioned in the previous paragraph, when it comes to decision making, we talk over the situation together, put our ideas together then come to a decision. This is key as husband and wife as you are now one unit and not anymore separate units. Everything that the other decides or do will affect the family and therefore communicating with one another and making decisions must be unified. Not only in decision making should you communicate but also with issues. If something bothers you, speak up. If you’re not happy about something, speak up. Your husband or wife won’t know what’s wrong until you tell them. You have each other to lean on for support and the other will always be there to listen to you. Listen to each other and speak lovingly to one another.
- Quality time – Being married means being together 24/7 now but this doesn’t mean quality time should be removed out of the picture. Yes, you will be with each other everyday but come on, we are busy people that we might be in each other’s presence but actually not talking to one another and be busy doing our own thing. Quality time is very important as it gives you the time to catch up with one another, talk to each other and just focus on one another. This does not have to be out somewhere but it could just be a time before bed where you talk to one another without the mobile phones or laptops or during dinner time or if you’re feeling like some time away from the house, a weekend away just the two of you. It could even be a dinner out to your favourite restaurants or diners or a picnic. Revive that love and intimacy by making time for one another without disruptions or distractions.
- Sacrifice and Self-giving – Now, there’s not only yourself to think about but your other half. You both are now in the care of each other. Sacrificing for the other is very key in marriage. This does not have to only be in big sacrifices but also in the little things. It could be giving the last piece of steak to the other person even if you really want it or offer to do their chores for them that night or giving up your time to help them do something or take care of them whilst sick. Giving of one-self to the other is the greatest act of love. You are constantly thinking only the best of the other and only want the best for them. You want to sacrifice things for them and give of your time because you love them and you know it makes them happy. It’s not a one-sided situation but both of you working together out of love for one another.
- Sorry’s – Who said marriage was going to be butterflies and rainbows all the time? Arguements are normal as long as they are not a regular occurrence. However, you need to know how to deal with them. When you and your spouse are on each other’s wits, try to bite your tongue when you’re about to say something you will regret later or something really mean, take time out before coming back together to re-discuss and most of all, remove your pride. Even if you are not at fault, take the initiative to apologise first. This takes a lot of love and self-denial to do but for the sake of peace in your household, it is worth it and important. Don’t hold grudges against each other because that will only destroy you both. Say sorry and mean it. Talk over the issue with peace and love and don’t forget to show affection to one another.
Already after 6 months I have learnt so many things and let me tell you, you will only keep learning new things day in and day out. Just remember to try and be the best spouse for your husband/wife. Be the best you that you can be. Give and do everything with love and trust me, they will see it and appreciate you endlessly for it.
Choose to love your spouse every single day even during the hard days. Show affection always to one another and give each other daily affirmations. Be interested in their hobbies and take time to learn their interests. Only grow your love daily and be thankful for them everyday.
Things will not always be easy but one thing for sure, is that you will always have one another through thick and thin, in sickness and health. ❤